What to Write in a Sympathy Card

In the era of social media, direct messages and texts, we often overlook more personal and meaningful ways of connecting. It’s so quick and easy to send a message on Facebook or a text to a friend, but it’s also extremely impersonal and may not be received as well as you might intend.

Calling and talking to the person is also extremely powerful – but, understandably, more daunting to undertake and gives you less time to collect your thoughts around what to say next.

Sending a sympathy card to someone can help show you care and are thinking of them - more than any written digital communication could. You can take your time to gather your thoughts and craft a message of love and support, avoiding saying anything that can potentially upset or harm your relationship.

Sympathy cards may also be displayed by the recipient as a reminder of the support their friends and family are trying to provide. Often, they are kept as keepsakes of the deceased, with anecdotes and memories helping remind of good times once shared and the ways other people’s lives were touched.

Writing a good sympathy card might seen daunting, however a few simple elements can combine to create a message of comfort for your recipient. Remember, you don’t need to rush your condolence message – take your time and make sure you’re happy with what you’ve written so you're saying sorry for your loss the right way.

First, select a card that’s appropriate for who you’re sending to. While you may have known the deceased well and shared a sense of humour, that won’t always mean their partner, siblings or parents do too. When in doubt, pick something simple and neutral.

Overall, keep your messages simple. Start with words of sincere condolences, then share a short, happy memory of the deceased if you have one. Then, offer your support or assistance if you’re able – it could be an offer to cook some meals or mind young children, or even something as simple as being available to talk. The important thing is to follow through with this offer and never make an offer if you have no intention of being able to keep it.

Finally, sign off with something simple that suits the recipient. There’s more suggestions below on how to tackle this and specific situations for different relationships with the deceased.